tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-86069658824394646642024-03-13T03:29:19.343-05:00Things Red People Likespacecowgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09504943156269804800noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8606965882439464664.post-80044358814245807482013-04-14T21:33:00.001-05:002013-04-27T19:12:01.249-05:00#12 HockeyI, a Red person, do not like hockey. Neither does MJ.<br />
<br />
For me, it's because of the OBSESSION my family had with hockey. It was always on T.V. and you were not allowed to change the channel. There was always a local game and if you wanted to be cool then you went to the game.When I was younger the Winnipeg Jets were around (now they're back - still don't care) so a treat was going to an NHL game.<br />
<br />
hockey, hockey, hockey. <br />
<br />
You'd think I'd be down with something so closely resembling the word hickey. But no, I HATE HOCKEY!<br />
<br />
But this is not a blog called Things Red People DO NOT Like. Amongst THAT list is asking if you can take a picture with us or touch our hair, telling us you are a Cherokee princess, dressing up and playing "Indian," and spiders - because who the f*ck likes spiders?!<br />
<br />
The benefits of playing hockey:<br />
Exercise, enhances communication, working as part of a team, improves self esteem (unless you suck) helps with coordination, build individual and community relationships, whiling away the cold winters, tight hockey player ass muscles...okay...I like THAT part about hockey.<br />
<br />
I'm talking small time hockey. None of this bullsh*t that is the NHL (you make me sick professional sport divas!) And although many of Red people aspire to the NHL it's for the love of the game, not their egos - at least not initially.<br />
<br />
Hockey is very social - it is after all a gathering. So I can see why people dig on going to a local game. In fact if I still lived on the Rez and had child in hockey I would go, just to be nosy and do some visiting.<br />
<br />
Because of my bias I cannot do this topic justice. So I did some research for you. <br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.hittheice.tv/" target="_blank">Here's</a> a TV show on First Nation Hockey. It's on APTN and I went to university with one of the coaches so I'm going to shamelessly promote for people I think are good peeps. <br />
<br />
And <a href="http://www.winnipegfreepress.com/opinion/fyi/hockey-nation-within-a-nation-183613601.html" target="_blank">here's</a> an article about First Nation hockey in Manitoba, with a short video clip. (I love the Cochrane's Peguis accents!) I'm also from Peguis and a Cochrane, so again shameless promotion. Can I help it if I know people who are news and TV worthy?<br />
<br />
Watching and reading these things on First Nation hockey, I get it. But I still don't like hockey. I'm just never going to. But it's a staple in many of our homes and communities and I respect what it means for so many people.<br />
<br />
It keeps our youth in shape and out of trouble. It allows us to come together in unity by cheering for the same team. Healthy activity, positive influences and unity are things we need in our communities and those are good enough reasons for Red people to like the sport. <br />
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<br />spacecowgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09504943156269804800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8606965882439464664.post-45708749576308071712012-10-20T19:47:00.000-05:002012-10-22T21:13:47.842-05:00#11 BreaksIsn't it nice that I lead by example? <br />
Here I was telling you all about Red people likes and I had yet to provide you with a prime example of which you could be an active participant. Then I had a brainchild...wouldn't it be an interesting experiment if I, a Red person, did something that I liked and all 7 of my readers could experience it via this blog? So after 18 long months, I give you post #11, BREAKS!!<br />
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Ever work in a band office? If yes, it's a wonder you have any sense of humor or even enough soul left to access this blog after that ordeal. If no, you should go work for one...it's great fun. *covers mouth and snickers*<br />
<br />
I worked in the vicinity of a band office in 2005. And let me tell you, most of my experience with political, financial and caffeinated Red people comes from that 6 month stint. Here's my first day:<br />
7:00 am wake up, drink coffee (break from sleeping), shower, coffee (break), get dressed, rock out to some Hollaback Girl (break...also don't judge me!)<br />
8:45 am drive to office, sit in car and smoke (break)<br />
9:00 am walk to office door, pull hard on door for several minutes, realize door is push door, push hard for several minutes, realize door is locked, sit on step (break)<br />
9:30 am still waiting for someone with keys to arrive, smoke (break)<br />
9:45 am someone arrives, they start talking about their hickie, or fight, or new snag or the pow wow they went to (break)<br />
10:15 am make coffee in staff room, read paper, drink coffee (break)<br />
11:00 am check voice mail and paper messages, go outside to smoke (break), eat apple (because it's important to be healthy)<br />
12:00 LUNCH, food, coffee, smoke, talk (break)<br />
repeat morning routine in the afternoon.<br />
<br />
Okay, okay, okay. That's an exaggeration.<br />
<br />
Most people in band offices are hard working folks trying to cut through the bureaucratic bullshit spoon fed to them on a daily basis for hundreds of years. Who wouldn't need a multitude of breaks when trying to deal with government directive and agenda pushing day in and day out? *jumps off soap box*<br />
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<br />spacecowgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09504943156269804800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8606965882439464664.post-6061844808252702732011-04-28T14:06:00.017-05:002013-07-09T21:22:43.575-05:00# 11 HickeysEver go to bingo and come back with a <br />
hickey? Me neither. <br />
<br />
But people do! I've heard stories. I don't know who these people are or why they do this, but hickeys are a big deal amongst the Red folk. It seems that they are a sort of status symbol, that symbol standing for being in a relationship.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOcNMB62Pjosy4tQDvhClCdChZVjJwGLrlZjtUKB2BcyvU-JmnRfVDtE0fVw2Cp4OXTo02fJy0FNnOHHr48d7z51mPYuad-r5VUMhxSj8AX2w7Xl0blI2j36uiBBdznS3PklEuSM57FPM/s1600/Hickey.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjOcNMB62Pjosy4tQDvhClCdChZVjJwGLrlZjtUKB2BcyvU-JmnRfVDtE0fVw2Cp4OXTo02fJy0FNnOHHr48d7z51mPYuad-r5VUMhxSj8AX2w7Xl0blI2j36uiBBdznS3PklEuSM57FPM/s200/Hickey.jpg" width="200" /></a>Granted I was a teenager with a testosterone driven boyfriend. All he wanted to do was suck my neck. <br />
<br />
<<<< Here's my first hickey, I framed it. Awww..."Baby's First Hickey"<br />
<br />
HAHA!! Gross. I'm kidding. Facing the wrath of strict parents was not worth the "thrill," that was highly visible neck bruises.<br />
<br />
<br />
Why do we like it? I don't know if this is something we necessarily like or continue to do out of habit. Every single Red person I asked said that they do not like hickeys. Those same Red people have had and/or given a hickey at some point in their pre-adult years. Therefore, it may be safe to assume that this is something most participated in by teenagers.
<br />
<br />
However!! That is not always the case. Hickey quantities also occur in places that are highly under populated by males whereby the women are more likely to be very possessive of men (Cross Lake for example...that's right I'm talkin' 'bout chu!)
<br />
<br />
This is not to say that Red women are more likely to distribute hickeys. In places where women are more likely to be available in lesser quantities it is assumed that the male provision of hickeys will increase. <br />
<br />
Alas, no hard data is available on this as my university won't provide me with the anthropological research grant requested through my proposed thesis entitled, "Hickeys, The Lesser Understood Form of Red People Marriage Engagement."
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<br />spacecowgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09504943156269804800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8606965882439464664.post-5550956655831449712011-04-28T14:06:00.014-05:002012-10-20T22:12:41.837-05:00# 11 BingoOkay, this is a cliche.<br />
<br />
It's true we like the bingo. Young and old - we all go.<br />
<br />
We start off young, playing bingo with a deck of cards for candy prizes. Regular games are 5 cent candies, jackpot is a canned Pepsi.<br />
<br />
We slowly graduate to Granny's little bingo helper - carry her dabbers, get her treats and coffee. In return she buys you junk food and you get a three strip bingo card. Word to the wise, don't ever spill tea on your granny's bingo cards. That's not fun because she calls you a, "Damn kid!"<br />
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Finally, you're old enough to buy your own smokes and find your own ride to bingo (if you're hardcore you walk.) It's really ceremonial. At this point the regulars know you. You have a favorite caller and ticket seller. You have spot that you sit in. You always carry a bingo dabber in your purse for bingo emergencies.<br />
<br />
But why?<br />
<br />
It's social - tons of people around. Ya know what that means!!! You get all decked out. Shower, hair, makeup, clean (sometimes new) clothes. It great time for gossip too.<br />
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It's also anti social - you can sit alone and no one knows you. You're like a bingo playin' ninja granny! This is even sweeter if you win, because it pisses off the regulars.<br />
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They have good eats - usually jam packed full of sugar or salt, OR BOTH! There's coffee, tea and pop, cakes, sandwiches, chips, chocolate bars, bannock, baloney, or those little cakes with the coconut icing...I'm hungry.<br />
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If it's on the Rez you can smoke cigarettes. Smoking...indoors. We like that.<br />
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There's a chance of cash flow. Albeit, a slim chance, it's still there.<br />
<br />
Break open tickets - need I say more?spacecowgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09504943156269804800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8606965882439464664.post-77940997204652223272011-02-08T07:31:00.002-06:002012-10-20T22:10:51.492-05:00#11 GatheringsBelow is a list of the top 10 events Red people gather for.<br />
<br />
1. Pow Wow<br />
2. Treaty Days (bread and cheese day in Haudenosaunee territory)<br />
3. Birth<br />
4. Death<br />
5. Spiritual ceremony or celebration (other than pow wow, wedding or funeral and including other church or traditional ceremonies)<br />
6. Weddings<br />
7. Funerals<br />
8. Birthdays<br />
9. Graduation<br />
10. Court<br />
<br />
Here are all the reasons we like big ole get-togethers<br />
<br />
Opportunities for:<br />
Laughing, joking and teasing<br />
Storytelling<br />
Gossiping<br />
Snagging (NOT to be done at family reunions!)<br />
Dressing up (ironing something, new white socks, wearing makeup or buying something new to wear)<br />
Memory Making<br />
Moral support and empathy<br />
<br />
Chances of:<br />
Good times<br />
Food<br />
<br />
Crying (happy tears, except for that one sickening cousin who cries about everything)<br />
Running into someone old flames, your nemesis, or your crush<br />
Getting a present or a surprise (gum from your auntie counts)<br />
Witnessing a fight (argument, conflict, disagreement, otherwise just plain ole gossip making goodness) <br /><br />
This is embedded in our culture. As many of our nations are formerly nomadic peoples, we met during the summer season after spending the long winter months in smaller family groups. See: visiting for more information.<br /><br />
We are also big on celebrating individual achievements as they related to life and all it's journeys.<br />
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Get-togethers that didn't make the cut: Christian based holidays, socials, garage party, election time, Walmart, the weekend, hockey games, yard salesspacecowgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09504943156269804800noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8606965882439464664.post-10729738686430407102011-02-05T17:14:00.000-06:002012-10-20T22:08:22.005-05:00#11 Laughing when people fallI just noticed, the most recent posts go on forever, guess I'm long winded. Kinda like <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARXfQzfl9EQ">Grandpa Simpson</a>. And he's also the reason I'm a history major...haha. But if I live through some amazing history, I hope I can one day tell stories like that old man. Speaking of stories, here's some...<br />
<br />
The year has just started and I've already fallen down. Thanks be that Mo' and Salim were there to laugh at me because laughing at yourself is just not as fun alone.<br />
<br />
Last year I fell down three times. And wickedly I might add.<br />
<br />
1. I was crossing the street with my backpack on. Yeh know, just another Red girl on a university campus trying to get some education. I was just stepping up onto the curb when... BAM! Flat on my face! Skinned knuckles, bruised knee, busted ego! I tried to put my hands out to save myself, but they were holding onto my backpack straps. My leg was cramped so I couldn't even stand up! I just rolled onto my side. This new Canadian saw me and started calling "MA'AM, MA'AM You OK Ma'am?" Insult to injury?? Cars honked. Make it worse?? A friend's Red boyfriend saw me and put it on his Facebook status, I think he got something like eighteen likes. Brutal.<br />
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2. I was walking to my car; it was winter. Yeh know, just another Red girl leaving a place of higher learning. I slipped on some ice so, I put my arms out to balance myself - as any normal person would. My silver ring flew off my finger and hit the side of a building. **TING** More concerned about the ring than my dignity, I launched at it. BAM! Hello hard, dirty, sidewalk! Although I can't be positive, I'm sure the Red lady walking towards me thought I looked like a dog on roller skates, or whatever stupid looking thing she thinks is hilarious. And to date...no silver ring. She probably put it on her Facebook status, I imagine it went something like this, "Just saw an awesome looking chick slip on ice. That was so damn funny. I wish she was my best friend. I'm lonely." Haha - Ok...more like, "Saw stupid woman fall for no reason - check out my secret video <span style="color: #000099;">here</span>!"<br />
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3. I fell down three stairs at the university. While two guys watched. And Laughed. Then called me "sister" as in "HOO WAH Sister...you okay?" (I think the sister part is more embarrassing - so I've never told anyone that until now.) Not only was I literally RED in the face, but I broke my shoe, and hurt myself. But being laughed at made it easier...well at least it made a good story (for them, I guess.)<br />
Guy #1 "Dudes, dudes...We were at the university yesterday when this chick fell down the stairs!! AHHH MAN! Dumb chick, tryna be cool...HAhahahaaa...aaah...she had nice shoes."<br />
Guy #2 "For real! Three stairs! Straight down. Yeah, her shoes were nice."<br />
What?! Those shoes were gorgeous! Those guys totally noticed.<br />
<br />
Ugh. So all I have to say is, yes I fell down and lost my dignity (First time ever! I swear!) But it was made so much easier by the people who laughed - who may I add were all Red people.<br />
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So, why do we laugh when someone falls down?<br />
<br />
For most of us, it goes back to when we were babies just learning to walk. Babies learning to walk, fall. But, instead of getting hysterical and yelling "OOOOOOOH!!" and scooping the kid up, we just sit there and laugh. The kid then realizes that it didn't get hurt and they pick themselves up and carry on. *If they keep crying - then maybe they hurt themselves, so we investigate, but this usually isn't the case.<br />
<br />
As adults, the vast majority of us can walk. And we're all very good at it, after all we've been doing it for years right? There's really no reason to fall down. And that's why it's funny. There's no reason behind it. The person who fell is just stupid. And stupidity is funny.spacecowgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09504943156269804800noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8606965882439464664.post-58980335176589823202011-02-02T17:44:00.000-06:002012-10-20T22:05:13.929-05:00# 11 TeaFrom this point forward all posts will be number 11.<br />
<br />
Similar to coffee, Red people's like of tea has many levels;<br />
<br />
Some are loyal to only one flavor or brand,<br />
My granny likes Blue Ribbon tea, yeh know...comes in a red plastic bag, 100 tea bags for 49 cents or whatever.<br />
My friend D likes Red Rose, she's just nostalgic about the old flowery tins and free knick-knacks that it used to come with. *sigh* ...yesteryear....<br />
My mom and aunties like muskeg tea (AKA Labrador Tea) and cedar tea, I think it tastes nasty but hey, it keeps scurvy at bay.<br />
I used to like mushroom tea but that's a different blog... a different Space Cowgirl...a different lifetime...whoa, I have fingers!!!<br />
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Some of us like to make it in different ways, (I'm talking about tea here, not the other thing we like to do in different ways. Oooooo!)<br />
The completely average way: boil water in a kettle, drop in tea bags, pour into a cup, drink.<br />
Ooooorrrrr!! The awesome memory making way!!!<br />
<br />
BUSH TEA! WOOOOO...OOO..ooo...oh...that's right, just me...<br />
Alright, maybe I'm the only one down with this, but soon you will be too, especially if you're all about being outside at inconvenient, unconventional times of the year.<br />
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First, you need to dress appropriately, long johns, jeans, long sleeve shirt, t shirt, knitted wool sweater from your Kokoom, Mukuluks or rubber boots, mitts that flip over into gloves, and a bright orange toque (so you don't get shot.)<br />
<br />
Second, you need some provisions. tea, sugar, canned milk (yuck!) one spoon, some cups, water, matches.<br />
<br />
Third, you need a 4L tin can (or you use a camp kettle...boring), some wire that won't break if it gets hot.<br />
To make a bush tea kettle:<br />
Step 1, Make sure you can has no holes in the bottom.<br />
Step 2, Poke a hole in side of the can about an inch from the top, poke another one directly across from it.<br />
Step 3, Run the wire through to make a handle.<br />
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Fourth, start walking into the bush. Find a spot that has some fire wood to be had, a fallen tree to sit on, some moss, some shade, an opening for the smoke to escape up through the trees, some rocks...maybe a berry bush...a nice stream...some bunnies...a few chirping birds...a singing nanny....wait a minute...this isn't Disney.<br />
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Fifth, get two forked sticks and one straight stick. Drive the two forked sticks into the ground fork side up, steady with rocks if required.Thread the tin can filled with water onto straight stick and lay stick across the forked sticks. Build a fire under the tin can. Boil water.<br />
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Sixth, make the boiled water into tea. Enjoy your memories.<br />
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(These directions are very simple, so if you screw this up...your granny will be so disappointed. ARGH! And granny disappointment it the worst! It comes with embarrassment and teasing!)<br />
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This is done best in the spring, a little snow on the ground, crisp air, wet earth...good stuff.<br />
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For a little more on Labrador tea, Check this out: http://www.yesnet.yk.ca/firstnations/books/pp_web/makingtea_pp.pdf<br />
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Isn't that awesome? What I like most is that Granny is DECKED OUT...her prettiest dress, her beaded bling. And those little girls are ragamuffin cuties - I'm a little disappointed that they are not wearing matching, but different colored outfits, but still very cute.<br />
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So, why do we like tea? I dunno. I don't have all the answers dammit. MJ tells me that they are all about the tea in Norway House....so what up MJ? Enlighten us.spacecowgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09504943156269804800noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8606965882439464664.post-65808507350671161972011-01-22T10:15:00.000-06:002011-02-02T17:43:12.557-06:00#11 BannockIf you know a Red person who doesn't like bannock - they're crazy. My friend Mo' doesn't like bannock but she likes fry bread, so really she's only half crazy.<br /><br />First, where did the bannock we all know and love come from? There are two schools of thought on this.<br /><br />1. Bannock came from Scottish (white) people. (I believe this one.)<br /><br />2. Bannock, or a form of, was made by Red people prior to contact, from tree root flour. (In my experience tree roots are not very tasty.)<br /><br />Let's all pretend you agree with me.<br /><br />Bannock was invented and brought to Canada by the Scottish. It is a variety of quick flat breads and is a cousin of the scone (HEEEY CUZZIN!) Scottish Bannock, also known as Selkirk Bannock, is soft and spongey and made from wheat flour. WHO KNEW?? Apparently the honest and historically accurate folks over at Wikipedia knew this [rolls eyes.]<br /><br />I like to say "Bannock: Invented by the Scottish, perfected by the Cree." I don't know if this is true but isn't it fun to say that? Give it a try. Now go tell a Scot. >) Mostly I think that the Cree just make everything better...babies for example, ours are cuter than most!<br /><br />Bannock, much like bologna (and babies), can be made in many ways. Let's stick to bannock making though;<br />You can bake it, deep fry it in oil, fry it in a pan on a stove or over a fire or wrap it around a stick and cook it over an open fire to name the most common methods.<br /><br />The recipes are just as plentiful.<br />The regular way- white flour, lard, baking powder and water.<br />The fancy way - throw in some raisins.<br />The really fancy way - raisins AND cinnamon!<br />The Cree-talian way - with garlic and oregano.<br />The health conscious way - with whole wheat flour and olive oil.<br />The Shepard's bannock [pie] - stuff it with mashed potatoes, peas and hamburger.<br />There's much more. But let's move on.<br /><br />What about fry bread bannock you ask? (Or you may be asking what is fry bread bannock?)<br />It's bannock mixed without the lard, rolled out and cut into squares and then deep fried in oil. The Metis slapped claims to this, that's probably why Mo' is down with it, being half <strike> <span>crazy</span> </strike> Metis and all. The best way to eat fry bread is to make an "Indian Taco." You get a big peice of fry bread, then layer on chilli, cheese, lettuce, onions, tomatoes, salsa and sour cream (Uh yeah, it's just a regular taco on fry bread.)<br /><br />Why do we like bannock?<br />Because it's easy! Flour, lard, baking powder, salt, water. Done.<br />It's portable and storable. You can mix all the dry ingredients (lard too) and store for 2-3. Just add water and voila, bannock!<br />It's versatile! You can add just about anything to it. Put some jam, butter or honey on top. Dip it in soup, stew or chilli. Make sandwiches. And as we've learned there are many ways to cook it.<br />It's cheap. Relatively speaking. It's cheaper than buying Wonder Bread (something else we like!)<br /><br />Is bannock spiritual?<br />Now, I can't speak for the Wan-na-be tribe...maybe they have bannock gods, I dunno. But for me, my family, and every other Red person I've met, bannock is not anymore spiritual than any other food that we intake. So, cutting it with a knife is fine, if you like gummy ole bannock. But when it's fresh and hot, just rip off a hunk and dunk it in your tea.spacecowgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09504943156269804800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8606965882439464664.post-10861156131892272522011-01-01T12:40:00.000-06:002012-10-20T22:02:01.384-05:00# 11 Slang...boy!I'm going to tell you about slang (mostly what kind we use, and teeny bit about why we like it).<br />
<br />
Let's start with the two most obvious: Red and Rez.<br />
<br />Red describes a person who is of [insert your preferred Red people synonym] descent. If you didn't catch on to that by now you need a slap upside the head - Granny style. I use this because it's less confusing than:<br />
Indian, having to explain dot or feather is tired.<br />
Native American, first all people born in the Americas are native to it, second American typically describes someone from the USA.<br />
Aboriginal, often confused with Aborigine, typically used in Canada and is an umbrella term for Metis, First Nation, and Inuit.<br />
First Nation, implies there is a second nation and is a word used predominately by Red and non Red bureaucracies to describe band status holding Red people.<br />
<br />
Rez is an Indian Reservation where some Red people dwell. Often referred to as "The Rez" but is not the official name of "A" Rez.<br />
<br />
That was easy...let's get specific.<br />
<br />
My Rez has some of the best slang I've ever heard (and I'm not being biased, I've been to my share of Rezes and to say the least, we know what's up.)<br />
<br />
First, shortening words is for amateurs. All color groups do it, we're not special in that way...so making reservation into "Rez" really isn't all that original. However, the way the shortened version is used is interesting. I would never walk into The Keg and say, "Hi, Rez for Space Cowgirl."<br />
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Second, making up new words is easy too. "Foof." That's not a word! It means, "F*ck off, you're bullshitting." It's roots are in F*ck, hence the F and "Poof" as in smelly or stinky, much like bullshit (I'm guessing here, I've never actually smelled a bull's shit.)<br />
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Third, giving existing words new definitions is not new either. One word with two or more definitions is called a Homonym (if you think I'm lying to you here's where you would say "Foof.") One of these homonyms include; tight as in cheap or good looking. "That guy is TIGHT!" This is also generational. If someone called me "tight" I would be offended, because I'm a pretty generous person. But if someone called my 13 year old cousin tight, she would probably have a hickey a few minutes later.<br />
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Fourth, combining words. I'm sure all people do this. But none so much as us and definitely not more than my home Rez. Here's my favorites:<br />
"Okaso!" means "OK, so?" as in "OK, I heard you. But so what?" and<br />
"'Sif!" means "As if!"<br />
"What're" means "What are" as in "What are you talking about?"<br />
"O'er'der" means "Over there."<br />
"You'se" means more than one you, as in "What are you two people talking about."<br />
"K'den" means "Okay then"<br />
"S'kiddin'" means "Just Kidding."<br />
A Red gal once told me that she always knows people from my Rez because of the way we combine our words - it sounds like we're singing. Awww isn't that nice? I just thought our tongues were to lazy for enunciation.<br />
<br />
Fifth, Rez specific slang.<span style="font-size: 100%;"><br />K'atl'odeeche (Holla!) says, "How rude!" It started in the early 90s and it just kept going. It's not really slang, but it specific to them.</span> And they use it when people are not being particularly rude...weird. (If you're from K'at, here's where you would say "How rude!")<br />
<br />
Lil Sask (What's up!!), says "AH WAH!" usually in response to something someone said, "F*ck off, you're lyin'" or something that is stupid or funny, "Wow! That was stupid/funny."<br />
<br />
Peguis (heck yeah, Peguis!) has "Saaaaaaaaaaaaay!" ("no way!" and/or "I think you're lying.")<br />
Person 1: "I won $2000 at bingo last night."<br />
Person 2: "Saaaaaaaaaaaaay!<br />
Person 1: "Honest!" (this may be the stupidest conversation I've ever heard.)<br />
<br />
That area also OWNS, "cheeky," pronounced chee-KAY and "boy."In Peguis boy is used at the end of the sentence, where in Fisher River (Fish'r Riv!!) it is used at the beginning.<br />
Peguis: "You're ever cheeky, boy."<br />
Fisher River: "Boy, you're ever cheeky."<br />
<br />
Sixth, words that sound like swears, but they're not,<br />
Heckin' (F*ckin')<br />
Cupcake and Fox Lake (F*ck sake)<br />
Bass Fish (Bastard)<br />
Ninpow (F*ck You)<br />
Fudge (F*ck)... ya get the idea.<br />
<br />
Seventh, a quick dictionary for you.<br />
Cheeky, someone is rude and smart mouthed. "Yer a cheeky one aren't ya?"<br />
Crabbid, someone who is cross, harsh, cynical, sour or bitchy. "TMF is just crabbid today!"<br />
Bii, someone who is a bitch. "Darcy is a Bii!"<br />
Snag, hit on and subsequently pick up someone you may or may not be attracted to. "Guess I'll go snag this weekend."<br />
Ole, used to describe anyone who may or may not be old. "Ole Shy Bob was at the store today."<br />
Errrrr, used to describe something disgusting. "Errrr! 'Sif I'd snag Ole Shy Bob!"<br />
Rezzy, something unique to a rez.<br />
Teepee Creeper, someone who plays the field (a male or female in charge of their sexual prowess.)<br />
Wan-na-be, a fictional tribe used to categorize a non red person who wants to be Red and usually claims their great-great-great-great grandmother was a Cherokee princess *roll eyes*<br />
Apple, someone who is red on the outside but white on the inside.<br />
Indian Time, typically describes being late. But will get you in trouble from elders if you use it, because Red people were usually early or arrived precisely when they meant to.<br />
Bannock Bum, someone who has a flat bum.<br />
Bannock Bunny, someone who snags at pow wows.<br />
Puck Bunny, someone who snags at hockey games.<br />
<br />
Finally, my favorite, incorporating Red language words into English conversation.<br />
You've all heard "Weenuk." There is the real definition and the definition we let people think is real. The definition we let you think it is, is penis. There. Now you know. Go forth and use it, so we can laugh at you.<br />
<br />
Shamaganis - means cops. As in "Duck! It's Shamaganis!" or Boogieman...which is funny. Cops, boogeyman... same thing right?<br />
<br />
"Weetigo"- is also used for boogieman.<br />
<br />
Neechi. It means friend. It's a term of endearment when used by other Neechis. Not to be used by non Neechis... just like another N word we know, right?! Unless you're referring to Neechi Foods, in which case stop reading this and go get me some raisin fry bread!<br />
<br />
So, why do we like slang? There are several reasons, most of which are not specific to Red people.<br />
It's cultural, as we've learned slang is specific to many places. Which means people from a specific place learn it from birth or new people are socialized to it. Therefore it makes all people unique. Which really doesn't make anyone unique considering all people have some form of slang...where's my fry bread??spacecowgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09504943156269804800noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8606965882439464664.post-24316873867336717732010-12-11T10:45:00.001-06:002012-10-20T21:54:50.771-05:00# 10 Clean FloorsRemember the white socks? Here's where you can learn more about their second use.<br />
<br />
If you ever visit a Red person's house chances are there is a mop pail full of clean water with some highly fragrant pine scented cleaner right beside the door. This serves one purpose...to clean the floor (duh! you thought it was something amazingly brilliant right?)<br />
<br />
Picture this; You're getting ready for an important event, you've even planned your wardrobe, whether that be your best sweats or something that requires ironing, it's up to you how you define important attire. Anyway, you put on a pair of fresh clean white socks (chances are you're going to a social) and walk to the kitchen for a cup of Rez coffee when...<br /><br />You step in big ole wet spot staining your perfect white sock. <span style="font-size: 0;">"<b>%&#($*@!</b>"<b> </b></span>Yup. We've all been there. You tear off your sock and chuck it across that floor, grab that mop sitting right there by the front door and angrily and hurriedly clean up that mess following it down the hall to the living room, where you find your kid (or man) standing in a puddle. Maybe they wet themselves or maybe they brought it on their shoes, details aren't important here. What is important is that your perfectly clean white sock is now a sopping mess that's going to require some Javex and now you have to forget the coffee and run around looking for another sock. To your dismay all you can find is a black pair, and you'll be the laughing stock at The Stock. People will be thinking about how dirty your floors must be why you have to wear black socks - seriously...that's how we judge if you're a good housekeeper or not.<br />
<br />With kids running around, people dropping in, men (not being sexist, just being truthful) walking across the floor with their muddy/snowy boots, and people trekking things up and down the house; our floors are bound to get messy. But all of that doesn't matter, because it is up to you to keep that floor clean. As a Red person, you will have visitors popping in and if they're Red people they WILL be wearing white socks. When they leave they will get home and look at the bottom of their feet. If their white socks are no longer white they will tell their friends about how to they had to wash their socks - twice before they got clean again...meaning your floor must never have been cleaned a day in its life! <br />
<br />It's true, they will talk about it. Because that's what we do, we gossip.spacecowgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09504943156269804800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8606965882439464664.post-6684243233921479742010-12-11T01:32:00.000-06:002012-10-20T21:51:52.757-05:00# 9 VisitingVisiting is when Red people consume the most <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Rez</span> coffee. If visiting was an Olympic sport it would be dominated by the Red people of the world but it would be an event in the summer games. Here's why I figure that...Historically, most Red people were semi-nomadic peoples, in the winter we broke up into our smaller family groups, but come summer we we're all together at our summer camps. That's why summer is prime time for visiting. And that's why we can visit all day, for days on end and never get sick of all our relations stopping in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">unannounced</span>. <br /><br />Why it works for us: <br />
1. Our kids have someone to play with. They're out of our hair and not fighting each other all because our visitor brought their kids along.<br />
2. You have someone who will share the load. Visitors will help you fold laundry while chit chatting, they'll appropriately discipline all the kids when they're being crazy and they'll <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">catch</span> you up on gossip, (or they'll make you feel important because you have all the gossip.)<br />
3. They'll get their <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">oldest</span> to watch all the younger ones so you can go out for a couple hours.<br />
4. They bring random people with them, which means you can get your nosey on! That's exciting! You get to meet people who you've either only heard about or seen at the Northern Store - and you can totally ask them all about their lives because they're in <b>your </b>house.<br />
<br />
But visiting is not all fun and games, there is a certain etiquette. <br /><br />Here's some guidelines:<br />
1. Always have a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">pot</span> of coffee ready to go - even if it's 40 above and the big plastic spoon on the wall is melting.<br />
2. Have some food. At the very least have something for a sandwich like bologna and bannock. Hey! You've got a houseful of kids to feed.<br />
3. Give the visitor's kids some sugar. Be warned, this means your kids will whine 'till you give them something sugary too. But now you have the perfect excuse to send them all outside until one of them cries.<br />
4. Go tie up your dogs, you don't want to have to shoot one if it bites some kid.<br />
5. Keep a mop pail full of clean water by the door just in case you hear someone getting out of their car. You can pretend you were just washing the floors....spacecowgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09504943156269804800noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8606965882439464664.post-34848966649455234832010-12-08T22:11:00.000-06:002012-10-20T22:25:10.059-05:00# 8 CoffeeYup, coffee. But not in the way other people like coffee.<br />
<br />First, Red people are not allowed to drink coffee until we're 18. You can't tell me that I'm the only who got a smack upside the head for sneaking a sip from my mom's cup "It'll stunt your growth, don't cha know!"<br />
<br />Second, we liked it the minute we tried it. The smell is what got us first THEN the taste. Third you may not want to see us before we've had our first cup of morning coffee, or our second, or our 10 am coffee, or our noon coffee, our afternoon break coffee our after work coffee, our 8 pm tv watching time coffee, the 10 pm (sometimes with a smoke) coffee and if it's the weekend our midnight and later coffee.<br />
<br />And finally, we don't care if it's from Starbucks, Second Cup, Tim Horton's, or heck even Chicken Chef...we'll drink it if it's coffee. And although fair trade, organic coffee is great, as is the expensive, frothy kind; we really just want some, so we'll take what we can get.<br />
<br />Basically coffee is like oxygen to us. We need it to live and because of that, we are immune to the caffeine (for the most part) and that's probably because Red people brew our coffee with more water than grounds, at home, on a $6.00 coffee machine from Walmart. Watered down coffee serves two purposes, 1. It's not as strong = less caffeine and 2. It lasts longer. And when you make it with 2% milk from a 4 gallon jug and white sugar from a soup bowl stirring with a big ass spoon, you have at cup of Rez coffee perfect for visiting...spacecowgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09504943156269804800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8606965882439464664.post-52094890037793287862010-12-07T09:45:00.000-06:002012-10-20T22:24:11.328-05:00# 7 White SocksTo be precise; crisp and bleached, white sweat sock. With black jeans and black shoes. I think it's because we jig and you can see our fast moving feet a whole heck of a lot better. Michael Jackson ain't got nothing on us, we knew what was up long before he came along.<br />
<br />
You can see this fashion trend at a Manitoba social. At first you can't tell because everyone is sitting down and they all kinda look the same.<br />
But, here's how to spot a Red person who particularly likes this kind of thing:<br />
They are decked to the nines.<br />
Hair did, tucked in dress shirt (in any colour,) black leather jacket, black jeans or dress pants with matching black leather shoes and belt.<br />
The men will also be wearing their shiniest watch.<br />
The ladies will have their faces done up, be wearing ALL their rings that will match the metal hardware on their purses and belts (haha that's right ladies, we know what you're up to, see: Matching.)<br />
<br />OH BOY! And when the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eHQX4Htg3wM&feature=related" target="_blank">Red River Jig</a> starts up you better back up! Because soon all you'll see is a blur of white near the floor in a sea of black (and Red :P)<br />
<br />
My friend MJ, (not to be confused with Michael Jackson, because 1. she's a chick and B. insert obvious joke here.) Tells me that the best place to see this fashion phenomenon is in Norway House (HOLLA!) Finest white sock jiggers this side of...well...Sagkeeng anyway.<br />
Ah, but you thought white socks served us with only one purpose did you not? Wrong. More about that later.spacecowgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09504943156269804800noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8606965882439464664.post-66973371000116449242010-12-03T10:45:00.000-06:002012-10-20T22:19:22.367-05:00# 6 Pronouncing things as they are spelled.Examples: Bombardiere - BOMB-a-DEER.<br />
<br />
We know that's not how it's pronounced and we know their snowmobiles are not actually deer bombs (but that would make our stereotyped hunter/gatherer existences interesting wouldn't it?) We say it that way because it pisses you off (see: Sarcasm.)<br />
<br />
True Story:<br />
"Hey, Space Cowgirl, there is a cool exhibition that I want to check out. They have a fair, a midway, a rodeo, entertainment and shows and all this different food. We should do a road trip! It looks like fun." (This is state side, not York Boat Days. Norway House HOLLA!)<br />
"Sounds cool, where'd you hear 'bout this Dad?"<br />
"Read it in a newspaper at work."<br />
"Alright then, let's go. Where is it?"<br />
"Oh, it's in Tuck-son, Arizona."<br />
*stifled laugh* "Where Dad?"<br />
"TUCK-son!"<br />
"Ooooooh. Do you mean TOO-sahn?"<br />
"No. I mean Tuck-son."<br />
<br />
To this day he says Tuckson, even though he knows a little part of me dies every time he says it that way.<br />
<br />
What I'm trying to say is that we are socialized to this from a very young age. Not only are we socialized to the literal pronunciation part, but also to the continuous mispronunciation part. Saying words incorrectly when you're around is done because we're actually putting your uppity, pious, snooty ass into place, by using both pronunciation and sarcasm to double burn you. This also goes for singing the wrong song lyrics, and calling bands, books or restaurants by the wrong, yet similar sounding name. That's right. So, the next time you point it out to a Red person, be prepared to be annoyed. Because your attempt to make things better, will actually make things worse - for you.spacecowgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09504943156269804800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8606965882439464664.post-45241053870645802362010-12-02T11:44:00.000-06:002013-07-09T21:44:27.520-05:00# 5 Bologna<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi24c87uT4O2hR44hJflz9uFeNh2J3VtIhSRR0MFlGvEu8dckEmHrZhwwqRxps1sCFzjgZH2asqjhnYwyYxr1gj2b4whbJkDz9IjDFDOZ4k7dGxlKRpWnSUA_maosfvt6nFvL3txJJ6urk/s1600/image.php.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi24c87uT4O2hR44hJflz9uFeNh2J3VtIhSRR0MFlGvEu8dckEmHrZhwwqRxps1sCFzjgZH2asqjhnYwyYxr1gj2b4whbJkDz9IjDFDOZ4k7dGxlKRpWnSUA_maosfvt6nFvL3txJJ6urk/s1600/image.php.gif" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><span style="color: #b45f06;">I don't know if I'm hunger or disgusted.</span></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Speaking of whiny people who are full of crap...<br />
<br />
Bologna. We like it. In the way of Bubba Gump:<br />
"Anyway like I was sayin' bologna is the fruit of the Rez. You can barbecue it, broil it, boil it, saute it. Dey's uh, bologna kabobs, bologna creole, bologna casserole, fried, deep-fried, stir fried. There's mac and cheese and bologna, tomato soup bologna, bologna pizza, bologna and eggs, bologna soup, bologna stew with bannock, bologna and potatoes, bologna sandwich. That - that's about it."<br />
<br />
We do enjoy that Rez Steak (oh for those of you less PC, Indian Steak.) We love it because it's salty, it's cheap and it's versatile! It's soul food, it's a treat and it's not even meat!! WHOA! That totally rhymed! Cool. Anyway, bologna...<br />
<br />
We're really picky about it, Winnipeg Old Country Bologna is how we roll, none of that reduced fat, low salt, artificial sugar, mild arsenic bologna for us. <br />
<br />
And a true Red person would never buy that Americanized pre-packaged BALONEY! What's up with that spelling? Yeah, that's how it's pronounced, but if you're straight up Red, you'll pronounce it Bo-LOG-na!spacecowgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09504943156269804800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8606965882439464664.post-19502803766555448312010-12-01T07:48:00.000-06:002012-10-20T22:18:54.796-05:00# 4 TeasingOh how we love the teasing!!!<br /><br /> If a Red person likes you, she will tease you. If you cry about it, she will never tease you (to your face) again...which basically means she doesn't like you anymore. Generally here's how it works;<br />
<br />
1. We lightly tease you and then assess. Do you take it like a [Red] man? Do you spit one back at us? Do you shrivel up and die? We're watching for your reactions.<br />
<br />
2. a) You rolled with it. So, we bring some well-timed one-liners. Anything you do is up fo teasing. Thinking of wearing that same shirt this Monday that you did last Monday? Think again because you better believe we have a secret mental list of all you weird habits.<br />
b) You teased us back. You're cool. We're now a team. Sitting in the lunchroom with the newbie? We tease each other as a way to test the newbie.<br />
c) You cried harassment to the head honcho. We told all our friends how bad you suck and now we tease you behind your back, exclude you from all our super awesome activities and tease you even more then use sarcasm, "ONLY KIDDING! Don't forget to tell on me now! [roll eyes]"<br />
<br />
3. a) You lose some. You win some. But mostly you lose some and we're so proud of you because you're the guy who can take it. We like you even more if you're the white guy who can take it AND if you have to explain it to your friends (ya know, the ones that cry...)<br />
b) We're now besties. We have nicknames, inside jokes and share clothes...er! as if...share clothes! But yeah, we tight! We engage in witty banter and repartee. We still like to tease other people, but mostly we like to tease each other.<br />
c) You quit coming around and we now call all cry babies who come after you by your name, "Pffft, you're such a Priscilla!"spacecowgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09504943156269804800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8606965882439464664.post-55950359041609398652010-11-30T07:52:00.000-06:002012-10-20T22:17:14.365-05:00# 3 SarcasmSome of our sarcasm operating levels are higher than others, but generally we all enjoy it. I think it is rooted in our culture. We use sarcasm and guilt to educate and guide our children. <br /><br />Here's a scenario:<br />
Little Space Cowgirl won't eat her peas, so Granny says, "Oh, well little Space Cowgirl must be saving those peas for other little Space Cowgirls in the world who don't have fresh peas that their Granny grew, picked and cooked just for her." (never happened!)<br />
<br />
We do it to get a point across without straight up saying it, we do it to put people in their place and "help" them see the error of their ways and we do it for shits and giggles, because DAMN! sarcasm is funny. <br /><br />Those whose sarcasm MO's are not as high, will not "get it" and they will have to be teased...spacecowgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09504943156269804800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8606965882439464664.post-16683365650511485702010-11-29T20:56:00.000-06:002012-10-20T22:16:31.372-05:00# 2 NicknamesTommy Six Toes is an actual guy I know from my Rez. He went to jr. high with us and would show us his 6th toe for a dollar (and his 12th for another dollar.) Today he's 27 and now shows his extra toes to his nieces and nephews instead of buying them birthday presents.<br />
<br />
My cousin's name is Ojibway Prophecy Bartholomew Nicholas Morrison Abernaki. In kindergarten we learn to write our names - poor kid couldn't spell one of those names to save his life. He's 21 and now goes by Bear.<br />
<br />
My family calls me Dawnkey - for 2 very lame reasons:<br />
1. My middle name is Dawn.<br />
2. My laugh once sounded like a donkey when I was 10 months old.<br />
I'm 29 now and every card I ever get from my Mooshum is addressed to "Dawnkey."<br />
<br />
My point? Nicknames are usually grounded in something legit- whether it be your 6th toe or beak like nose (Beaker Manigotaggon, grade 5.)<br />
<br />Nicknames also help make life easier for all involved - how many Tittas or Sissies do you know? Probably tons, all because a baby brother couldn't say sister.<br /><br />
And sometimes nicknames are made (and kept) just to embarrass the hell out of people who do, like, say or think dumb shit - ever want to put me in my place? There's lots of ways to do that, but calling me Dawnkey isn't one of them unless you want to get knocked on your ass! Just kidding! Which brings me to...spacecowgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09504943156269804800noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8606965882439464664.post-6828118970927593232010-11-28T11:01:00.000-06:002012-10-20T22:14:56.793-05:00# 1 Being related to peopleHere's a random conversation between two Red people who just met,<br />
<br />
"Hey, yuh. I'm from Sap." (Holla!)<br />
"Me too yuh, 'fore I moved here. Ya know my dad, Tommy Six Toes?"<br />
"Hey yeah I know Tommy Six Toes. He's my dad's uncles' 2nd cousin's real dad!! Heckin' how's he doing? I never'd saw ole uncle Tommy Six Toes for a long time!"<br />
"He's good. Coffee?"<br />
"Yuh."<br />
<br />
Finding out we're related to a fellow Red person makes feel connected to that person on a deeper level. Like sharing 1/16 of blood some how makes it possible for that person to understand you and impossible for them to ever hate you, all because... now you're family.<br />
<br />Also, we love to say "heeeeey cuzzin!" and then laugh but really we're just so damn happy to have that phrase to break the ice and stop feeling so awkward. Then we can cut through the small talk and move right along to the joking, teasing and inventing a nickname for our long lost relations.<br />
<br />
And on that note...spacecowgirlhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09504943156269804800noreply@blogger.com0