# 6 Pronouncing things as they are spelled.

Examples: Bombardiere - BOMB-a-DEER.

We know that's not how it's pronounced and we know their snowmobiles are not actually deer bombs (but that would make our stereotyped hunter/gatherer existences interesting wouldn't it?) We say it that way because it pisses you off (see: Sarcasm.)

True Story:
"Hey, Space Cowgirl, there is a cool exhibition that I want to check out. They have a fair, a midway, a rodeo, entertainment and shows and all this different food. We should do a road trip! It looks like fun." (This is state side, not York Boat Days. Norway House HOLLA!)
"Sounds cool, where'd you hear 'bout this Dad?"
"Read it in a newspaper at work."
"Alright then, let's go. Where is it?"
"Oh, it's in Tuck-son, Arizona."
*stifled laugh* "Where Dad?"
"TUCK-son!"
"Ooooooh. Do you mean TOO-sahn?"
"No. I mean Tuck-son."

To this day he says Tuckson, even though he knows a little part of me dies every time he says it that way.

What I'm trying to say is that we are socialized to this from a very young age. Not only are we socialized to the literal pronunciation part, but also to the continuous mispronunciation part. Saying words incorrectly when you're around is done because we're actually putting your uppity, pious, snooty ass into place, by using both pronunciation and sarcasm to double burn you. This also goes for singing the wrong song lyrics, and calling bands, books or restaurants by the wrong, yet similar sounding name. That's right. So, the next time you point it out to a Red person, be prepared to be annoyed. Because your attempt to make things better, will actually make things worse - for you.

# 4 Teasing

Oh how we love the teasing!!!

If a Red person likes you, she will tease you. If you cry about it, she will never tease you (to your face) again...which basically means she doesn't like you anymore. Generally here's how it works;

1. We lightly tease you and then assess. Do you take it like a [Red] man? Do you spit one back at us? Do you shrivel up and die? We're watching for your reactions.

2. a) You rolled with it. So, we bring some well-timed one-liners. Anything you do is up fo teasing. Thinking of wearing that same shirt this Monday that you did last Monday? Think again because you better believe we have a secret mental list of all you weird habits.
b) You teased us back. You're cool. We're now a team. Sitting in the lunchroom with the newbie? We tease each other as a way to test the newbie.
c) You cried harassment to the head honcho. We told all our friends how bad you suck and now we tease you behind your back, exclude you from all our super awesome activities and tease you even more then use sarcasm, "ONLY KIDDING! Don't forget to tell on me now! [roll eyes]"

3. a) You lose some. You win some. But mostly you lose some and we're so proud of you because you're the guy who can take it. We like you even more if you're the white guy who can take it AND if you have to explain it to your friends (ya know, the ones that cry...)
b) We're now besties. We have nicknames, inside jokes and share clothes...er! as if...share clothes! But yeah, we tight! We engage in witty banter and repartee. We still like to tease other people, but mostly we like to tease each other.
c) You quit coming around and we now call all cry babies who come after you by your name, "Pffft, you're such a Priscilla!"

# 3 Sarcasm

Some of our sarcasm operating levels are higher than others, but generally we all enjoy it. I think it is rooted in our culture. We use sarcasm and guilt to educate and guide our children.

Here's a scenario:
Little Space Cowgirl won't eat her peas, so Granny says, "Oh, well little Space Cowgirl must be saving those peas for other little Space Cowgirls in the world who don't have fresh peas that their Granny grew, picked and cooked just for her." (never happened!)

We do it to get a point across without straight up saying it, we do it to put people in their place and "help" them see the error of their ways and we do it for shits and giggles, because DAMN! sarcasm is funny.

Those whose sarcasm MO's are not as high, will not "get it" and they will have to be teased...