# 10 Clean Floors

Remember the white socks? Here's where you can learn more about their second use.

If you ever visit a Red person's house chances are there is a mop pail full of clean water with some highly fragrant pine scented cleaner right beside the door. This serves one purpose...to clean the floor (duh! you thought it was something amazingly brilliant right?)

Picture this; You're getting ready for an important event, you've even planned your wardrobe, whether that be your best sweats or something that requires ironing, it's up to you how you define important attire. Anyway, you put on a pair of fresh clean white socks (chances are you're going to a social) and walk to the kitchen for a cup of Rez coffee when...

You step in big ole wet spot staining your perfect white sock. "%&#($*@!" Yup. We've all been there. You tear off your sock and chuck it across that floor, grab that mop sitting right there by the front door and angrily and hurriedly clean up that mess following it down the hall to the living room, where you find your kid (or man) standing in a puddle. Maybe they wet themselves or maybe they brought it on their shoes, details aren't important here. What is important is that your perfectly clean white sock is now a sopping mess that's going to require some Javex and now you have to forget the coffee and run around looking for another sock. To your dismay all you can find is a black pair, and you'll be the laughing stock at The Stock. People will be thinking about how dirty your floors must be why you have to wear black socks - seriously...that's how we judge if you're a good housekeeper or not.

With kids running around, people dropping in, men (not being sexist, just being truthful) walking across the floor with their muddy/snowy boots, and people trekking things up and down the house; our floors are bound to get messy. But all of that doesn't matter, because it is up to you to keep that floor clean. As a Red person, you will have visitors popping in and if they're Red people they WILL be wearing white socks. When they leave they will get home and look at the bottom of their feet. If their white socks are no longer white they will tell their friends about how to they had to wash their socks - twice before they got clean again...meaning your floor must never have been cleaned a day in its life!

It's true, they will talk about it. Because that's what we do, we gossip.

# 7 White Socks

To be precise; crisp and bleached, white sweat sock. With black jeans and black shoes. I think it's because we jig and you can see our fast moving feet a whole heck of a lot better. Michael Jackson ain't got nothing on us, we knew what was up long before he came along.

You can see this fashion trend at a Manitoba social. At first you can't tell because everyone is sitting down and they all kinda look the same.
But, here's how to spot a Red person who particularly likes this kind of thing:
They are decked to the nines.
Hair did, tucked in dress shirt (in any colour,) black leather jacket, black jeans or dress pants with matching black leather shoes and belt.
The men will also be wearing their shiniest watch.
The ladies will have their faces done up, be wearing ALL their rings that will match the metal hardware on their purses and belts (haha that's right ladies, we know what you're up to, see: Matching.)

OH BOY! And when the Red River Jig starts up you better back up! Because soon all you'll see is a blur of white near the floor in a sea of black (and Red :P)

My friend MJ, (not to be confused with Michael Jackson, because 1. she's a chick and B. insert obvious joke here.) Tells me that the best place to see this fashion phenomenon is in Norway House (HOLLA!) Finest white sock jiggers this side of...well...Sagkeeng anyway.
Ah, but you thought white socks served us with only one purpose did you not? Wrong. More about that later.