# 8 Coffee

Yup, coffee. But not in the way other people like coffee.

First, Red people are not allowed to drink coffee until we're 18. You can't tell me that I'm the only who got a smack upside the head for sneaking a sip from my mom's cup "It'll stunt your growth, don't cha know!"

Second, we liked it the minute we tried it. The smell is what got us first THEN the taste. Third you may not want to see us before we've had our first cup of morning coffee, or our second, or our 10 am coffee, or our noon coffee, our afternoon break coffee our after work coffee, our 8 pm tv watching time coffee, the 10 pm (sometimes with a smoke) coffee and if it's the weekend our midnight and later coffee.

And finally, we don't care if it's from Starbucks, Second Cup, Tim Horton's, or heck even Chicken Chef...we'll drink it if it's coffee. And although fair trade, organic coffee is great, as is the expensive, frothy kind; we really just want some, so we'll take what we can get.

Basically coffee is like oxygen to us. We need it to live and because of that, we are immune to the caffeine (for the most part) and that's probably because Red people brew our coffee with more water than grounds, at home, on a $6.00 coffee machine from Walmart. Watered down coffee serves two purposes, 1. It's not as strong = less caffeine and 2. It lasts longer. And when you make it with 2% milk from a 4 gallon jug and white sugar from a soup bowl stirring with a big ass spoon, you have at cup of Rez coffee perfect for visiting...